Trying to row elegantly like a lady

So off I went to the rowing club and it was decided by my instructor, that I should go and practice sculling in a single seater rowing boat(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sculling).


Why thank you kind sir


Placed boat in water, placed oars, port and starboard and crouched as low as I could go to get in (this is how it is done - a little like al fresco toilet habits, trying to avoid stinging nettles) and strapped my feet in. 


Yep, this is do-able


The piece of advice I needed to take on board was  "if you fall out or rather in, DO NOT leave the boat, you need to hold onto the boat and doggy paddle back to the pontoon" (thinking thinking, do NOT leave the boat, do NOT leave the boat ..)
I'm gently pushed away from the pontoon, I'm gliding, I'm alright, yep and I'm now in the middle of the River Severn.

Boom,
My hearts racing,I have an overwhelming feeling of nausea, my knees are knocking and I keep looking to my left, thinking can I get near enough to the bank to clamber up.. (do NOT leave the boat .....)

I am quite literally up shit creek without a paddle (http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-of/up-shit-creek-without-a-paddle).

Sabrina the river boat cruise is now to right of me and I'm bobbing up and now, like a nodding dog on the back parcel shelf, Well, I would have been, if I was a little more relaxed and not had my shoulders around my ears.

I managed to get back to the pontoon (God knows how) after being out on the water for 15 mins max (a lifetime)

I then overheard this conversation.

Bod 1: So why has that girl come back in so early
Bod 2: I have never seen anyone look so petrified on the water. Maybe she just shows it more than others.

Arrh
So I should be a comedian

I have never been out on the water sculling on my own before and quite frankly, I think it may take a little time for me to do so again.