Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Lazy bugger

Yes, I am the laziest person alive, I failed to turn up to my last rowing session, but with good reasons, the river had been rising fast and the pontoon was jutting right out, a good indication, so I was told, that it is not safe to go out on the water.

I received the email list of the other club members and Googled a couple of names, which sounded interesting - I was rowing with an eccentric guy, who used to work for non other than Sotherbys. I was very excited about this

I have decided that I am not a huge fan of blogging, because they require work and also a password, which I fail to remember each time.

Urrg - I'm done for now

Night night :)

Friday, 24 June 2011

Trying to row elegantly like a lady

So off I went to the rowing club and it was decided by my instructor, that I should go and practice sculling in a single seater rowing boat(

Why thank you kind sir

Placed boat in water, placed oars, port and starboard and crouched as low as I could go to get in (this is how it is done - a little like al fresco toilet habits, trying to avoid stinging nettles) and strapped my feet in. 

Yep, this is do-able

The piece of advice I needed to take on board was  "if you fall out or rather in, DO NOT leave the boat, you need to hold onto the boat and doggy paddle back to the pontoon" (thinking thinking, do NOT leave the boat, do NOT leave the boat ..)
I'm gently pushed away from the pontoon, I'm gliding, I'm alright, yep and I'm now in the middle of the River Severn.

My hearts racing,I have an overwhelming feeling of nausea, my knees are knocking and I keep looking to my left, thinking can I get near enough to the bank to clamber up.. (do NOT leave the boat .....)

I am quite literally up shit creek without a paddle (

Sabrina the river boat cruise is now to right of me and I'm bobbing up and now, like a nodding dog on the back parcel shelf, Well, I would have been, if I was a little more relaxed and not had my shoulders around my ears.

I managed to get back to the pontoon (God knows how) after being out on the water for 15 mins max (a lifetime)

I then overheard this conversation.

Bod 1: So why has that girl come back in so early
Bod 2: I have never seen anyone look so petrified on the water. Maybe she just shows it more than others.


So I should be a comedian

I have never been out on the water sculling on my own before and quite frankly, I think it may take a little time for me to do so again.

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Stand Up Comedy

My colleague thinks I'm collecting material for my debut as a stand up comic and as much as I would like this to be true,  my brain is like a papier mache mulch of sludge ( the time I return home from work. It is at this point, that I become sloth like ( out that bad boy)

I can't bloody remember for the life of me any of the anecdotes during the day. Why were we hysterically laughing like the three witches from Macbeth? ( Not to say my colleagues and I are witches, but rather a cast of BBC2's Grumpy old women, which is something I thought I'd never become, but actually feel very comfortable being here. I spend the day playing a continuous game of volleyball passes of banter and laughter, in between working my butt off and being the best I can be. 

I can remember the visual day I've had, the copious amount of black coffee, pulling faces partly through the creases of laughter and more than likely through sheer despair, the invented silly walks around the office to stretch my legs, the rants and the way I was feeling. But try and put that into words, well now, that's a different ball game all together, and if I could, I would be heading to an open mic night, as we speak,( being so sloth like, does mean I will put it off until tomorrow.

Anyhow, a picture is worth a thousand words and I am in the mood for sharing

Goodnight, don't let the bedbugs bite